What it feels like: Normal in the AM and like I have a watermelon inside of me in the PM. Maternity clothes are not much fitting, particularly the pants in the belly area. Maternity clothes are not meant to be dried if you are hoping they will continue to fit, BTW. If you dry them they will shrink up to regular clothes size, rendering them utterly useless. When the baby moves it’s like having some quiet company. I stop what I am doing many times to see what she is up to, and because it is like an eclipse–it’s not something that happens every day in your life. In the evening I cannot bend over or sit in many positions because it is the time when the baby feels the largest and heaviest. I feel no guilt taking a nap late afternoon. I am tempted to slow down, and not do the things that I see need to be done, but there is something inside of me that won’t allow that.
What I look like: I am grateful that I look so obviously pregnant that people aren’t afraid to ask about it. I sometimes want to ask other moms who look pregnant about it, but fear that if they aren’t pregnant, I will look like an insolent butthead. I have maybe 4 shirts that cover my stomach, and 2 pairs of pants that I can wear all day, and 1 linen dress that I will probably continue to live in for awhile. I am lucky to have no stretch marks to speak of, and my weight gain, unlike my last pregnancy, is right in the range they say it should be. My last pregnancy I ate like an olympic swimmer and worked out as long as I could as hard as I could until about my 30-somethingth week. This time I eat like normal and am active, but have taken one of my longest hiatus from gym. I look forward to returning and having my body back.
I don’t know what to say about due dates because when you have a c-section scheduled, they usually do the procedure before the due date. So while my due date is October 6, more than likely this child will have a September birthday. My family seems a little less involved with this child than number one, I anticipate that they will receive a phone call one day and be surprised that they have a grandchild.
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Uh, it wasn’t exactly a secret,”
I took some time to figure out what stuff I need and I thought I would have everything covered because this is the second child. But, we sold the rather shoddy stuff we had for A (thankfully) and I was very generous in giving away things when I was done using them. I realized that at some point I will have to repurchase all the accessories to the breast pump because a friend I had given it to returned it to me without having ever cleaned it up after using it last, and it was (not kidding) encrusted in black mold. I don’t think I had every seen anything so disgusting. The replacement kit costs a little. So I have a few things I need to figure out. For example, I have zero newborn clothes. The smallest things I do have are very used looking. The relative lack of excitement about baby number two, my not working next year and my having given away alot of stuff from A, I just keep repeating that everything will be fine. Am just hoping that she will get the new stuff she needs, and reassuring myself, that yes, she will, somehow.
I am at once glad for the time left (because we aren’t ready), and just wishing her to be here.
Because it isn’t over, the potential for problems to arise are always out there on the horizon, regardless of the statistically low likelihood. Once she is born, the hoping that everything will be okay will be confirmed, we can move on to the next step–the “Will she sleep for any length of time?” part.