We had 2 pretty special visitors. My husbands kids.
We did alot of stuff. Alot of bike riding. Alot of time at parks, backyard volleyball, smores over our fire pit, family meals, swimming, excursions, crafty stuff, matinees. Oy. I wonder to myself “Will they be able to go home and say it was boring?”. After these 2 weeks, I don’t think so.
Stepmom is not a title most people relish. Trepidation is the main, predominating feeling I have towards that word. J and I have in the past had moments, clarifying roles, motivations and points of view. We see things differently, but I am grateful that by and large we approach the whole thing with empathy towards each other.
And the kids are good. They are good kids. I feel like I hardly know them, even after knowing them for 5 years, and I say that knowing that good kids, even the best kids, are still kids. And that means normal kid behavior.
The more time we have with them, the more normal it feels to have them around. It is our hope to establish familiarity with our family, as much is possible with kids we get to see about 3 weeks a year. They are a 30 hour drive away. Laws are such that mom can move them where ever she wishes. And their mom does. She also changes their last name to suit the current man in the house. But I won’t go any further with that. It is illegal, but there is next to nothing we can do to stop her.
I won’t accept the feeling that “step” anything is somehow “lesser”, or “bad”, or infers some misbehavior or lack of goodness. The way I have been taught, family is family, and these kids are family, and we show them nothing but love. My stepmom is awesome. I want to break that mold of bad step parenting, I think people expect less of themselves because that stigma exists.