People spend pretty much most of their lives trying to feel important somehow, they like to be made to feel important by others.
Today, things that happened made me feel really unimportant. Perspective, perspective, perspective. I’m tryin.
Today the division chair, J…uh oh, just realized that I was blogging about work. Isn’t that a no no? Well then. Let me show how even keel I can and am going to be about this, such that even my principal could read it.
Division chair, who is pretty much the epitome of even keel, I have never seen this guy rattled–told me before it was sent out in email the bad news for me about next year. I would only be allowed to teach one of the classes I normally teach. I would get a new class that I had never taught before. Part of the reason was because of NCLB certification (i believe easily remedied). But as we talked I came to understand that the other reason was because he decided to distribute the classes differently this year, to do so by seniority.
Thus, the woman that got the classes I desired and had been teaching for 6 years has been there a very long time.
The class I got was for a lower level group of kids. So this means I will be out of my zone of familiarity, and it will be more work. Ok. This happens. I am disappointed, but I understand how these things go. I would not complain. Worse things have happened.
I understand why he decided to change the way classes were divvied, before it looked like some sort of troglodyte market where everyone stayed after work on a Friday till 8 pm when we all wanted nothing more than to eat and rest and we would fight basically over who got what classes. It was really really a mess.
But then I read the email he sent out, after our brief conversation in the hall when I got the bad news. Not only was my schedule disappointing, but I was to be the teacher chosen to be on a cart and travel to different rooms for each period.
This is the part that bothered me the most. (start violin music here so you know that while I am downtrodden, disappointed and feeling unimportant, I am going to TRY to not take this too seriously)
Since I began at this school in 2001 I have had to change classrooms every year. I am the only teacher that has had this scenario. This means coming in for 2 or so days to pack up and re-establish in a new classroom. I have tried to be positive (with precarious success) about this, pointing out that this way I was able to meet people in all parts of the 5 mile campus, however at this point, I am simply in a bit of shock. It wouldn’t really be a big deal, but one is never paid for the time it takes to take down and put up a classroom, and since i had curriculum and materials for several classes spanning 3 departments, I had no small amount of stuff I used.
Now there are two new hires coming in, and they will be given their own classrooms, and meanwhile on my 6th year, I will be the one travelling.
And I am leaving out the reason for this all.
It is because I am part time.
So, because of that, I have a diminished level of importance. It is a high price to pay for part time. I want to feel relevant, important (I admit it).