days like this one.

If I’d known that someone was going to allow a dumptruck worth of crap slowly drop all over me today i probably would’ve called in sick.

And the thing is, I have some well-honed coping skills, I think anyway.

Today both Jeff and I worked, so usually he helps me get out the door on the days
he works from home, today I was on my own which translated into no lunch, no biggie. I had time to come home.

My coffee had sour milk in it, so my morning glory was cut off.

I discovered after much time spent fiddling around that just as I was ready to show the film streamed from my computer, my computer had shut off and was not to be restarted for some reason, turns out the power supply was blown, so I had to improvise in class, which is lame.

I arrived a half an hour early for a meeting (NO ONE knew when it was supposed to start) that ended up being 45 minutes longer than expected, fiddling around with a mac that was not working well, connected to a network that was sporadically slow, and this was after i had to have my password mailed to me, and then find a computer that I could check my email on.. The meeting went from 12:15 to 2:40. ((((sigh))))

none of these things would have been enough to set me off, they are just daily crap

But then I got a 250 dollar heating bill

My mom delivered some bad news

Our lawyer finally delivered some good and bad news after not hearing from her for 5 months, except for billing us for what seemed like imaginary work. This lawyer involves a very long, miserable, expensive, heart-wrenching situation that feels something like hell on earth sometimes.

I tried to call Jeff to tell him but the cell phone voice mail isn’t set up.

I had to go to the store to get the yogurt and peppers for the pakistani potato chicken, and was overcharged on my peppers after waiting in a long line with child in arm.

Then I prepared dinner which I usually do not have to do on days that i work but there was NOTHING to eat and it was a relatively easy meal to prepare, only that i had to clean the kitchen and feed the child at the same time.

I wasn’t even hungry.

Plus with my part time, resources are tight, which always turns up the notch and I had other physical complaints that were plaguing me today as well.

So by the time Jeff gets home I’m feeling like Krakatoa. I warned him. But even that wasn’t enough to keep me from a general feeling of rage.

So here I am, I should recount the good stuff too, just to maybe salvage this miserable shred of a day.

My classes went well and were very short today.
The computer lady, whose answer to everything is to scrub the hard drive to elicit that maximum amount of anxiety, didn’t scrub the hard drive.
The wine i bought at the store is just really really a nice chardonnay, California 2003.
I got to come home at lunch and eat, even though it took 45 minutes just to prepare lunch.
tomorrow I don’t have to go to work, I stay home with my daughter. I don’t even have any real chores to do–none that suck anyway. I got to do my 3 miles tonight, painless, I could’ve done more.

This whole week has been rough– huge 6 page test covering 14 weeks worth of study of OT, no groceries (have developed a strong aversion to the grocery store, it always feels like a battle to go), and papers to correct.

the march of time.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. suleyman says:

    Rage. Rage is always how I get. It’s not frustration at all. I just get angry at what I feel is a universe out to get me, even though I know it’s not.Pakistani Potato Chicken? Sounds good. -Suley

  2. J. Star says:

    I am in your boat with you bailing out the water, sister.$250 sounds pretty good. We were scared ours was going to be about $300 but by some miracle it was only $200. We were relieved. It helps to expect the absolute worst; then you aren’t too disappointed. Here’s hopin’ improvement heads your way.

  3. Fitèna says:

    My life sounds so boring compared to yours!!!!”My coffee had sour milk in it, so my morning glory was cut off.” I loved that!Fitèna

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